ROBLOX Misadventures
by PanikAttacc
Summary: A collection of rib-tickling, blood-curdling, heart-wrenching, brain-teasing and mind-blowing oneshots to appeal to your every interest. The stories in this series will be between 1 and 2 chapters, with a possible exception or two. GET HYPED! Rated T for dark themes, violence and possible swearing. Feel free to R&R, enjoy. :)


**\ Jail-breakers/**

Jed sat on his prison bed, swinging his feet back and forth off the edge, kicking dust off of the filthy floor beneath him. Out of all the problems with living in a prison, boredom was his primary issue. Outside, a prison officer paced up and down, keeping an eagle eye on every prisoner nearby. God, he was so annoying at times, it was like Jed never got any privacy.  
"Aye, Max!" Jed called out.  
"That's Mr. Martins to you, kid," spat the police officer.  
"I'm hungry," Jed whined.  
"Drink your own piss then, breakfast isn't for another half hour," replied the officer.  
In response, Jed simply grunted and shifted back on his bed.

Jed hated living in this prison - no, he _despised_ it. All he had done was killed one old man who insulted his girlfriend, that wasn't the worst thing in the world, was it? It's not like he tortured the man for months, all he did was whack him across the face with a shotgun. Painless! The guards treated him like rubbish, like he was the worst person in the world. It wasn't fair! He learnt his lesson after the first ten days, now it had been three _months_. He was so tired of being pushed around and made fun of, as if he was _weak_ , not _cool_ anymore, all that stuff. In the past, he'd always hang around his friends and they'd do everything together, but when he needed them most, they all fled like cowards, and he ended up the only person to get caught.

Soon would be his chance, his time to escape, to seek revenge.

To break out of jail.

* * *

Breakfast time finally came, Jed's prison door flew open and he shot out of it like a cannonball out of a cannon. He zoomed up the stairs before Mr. Martins could turn on his heel, and grabbed as much food as his medium-sized hands could handle. Breakfast today wasn't too bad at all. Bacon and eggs with buttered toast and orange juice. Unfortunately, the prison officers patrolling _far_ too close to the tables made everyone in the room uncomfortable, and that ruined their breakfast - especially for Jed.

After breakfast, Jed made his way outside, only to find himself watching a band of officers attack and restrain another prisoner who tried to snatch a gun off of one of them. It almost amused him, that was the first piece of action he had seen since the prisoners were forced to watch a realistic movie about the CIA 'kicking ass.'

In the yard, prisoners were pretty active, exercising, practicing basketball skills, the usual, but it was as if they had this sudden rush of adrenaline today, for no reason whatsoever. As if their bodies were telling them something interesting was going to happen today.

"Aye Jed! Get over here and play some games wiv us!" shouted Jed's new best mate, Arnold, although the other inmates called him Arnie.  
"Pass, I wanna annoy the guards again," Jed smirked.  
"Not a good idea bruv, apparently someone important is coming today, so if we're not on our best behaviour, it's straight to the electric chair," interrupted Jed's other friend. It always made Jed feel awkward that he was the only person in the prison with a posh accent, but he was used to it now. He enjoyed the sound of his mates' accents.

The sound of bullets rippling the air interrupted his thoughts, at that moment. Someone had broken into the guards' building and stolen the weaponry. Screams, blood splattering, punching and other forms of violence took over the air, ringing in the ears of the other inmates. Jed frowned. Why did anyone ever bother to try anyway? The RCF [Robloxian Containment Facilities] held the world record for most secure prison for four years straight. None of these idiots had any clue how to get past those frustratingly smart guards anyway, but Jed knew. Jed had the experience of getting out of sticky situations like this.

He was just a lazy ass, that's all.

* * *

It was exactly 12:01PM now, Jed was ordered to head inside for lunch, even though he hadn't finished his basketball game. His friends made their way inside, looking flustered and irritated. He followed suite, but something caught his eye on the way inside. Two guards were chatting around the corner, one had his key-card flailing around, hooked to the outer edge of his pocket. Something crossed Jed's mind, just for a split-second. A thought, an idea, a suggestion, a possibility, an opportunity.

The card was there, right before his eyes, not even hidden in plain sight, the fact that he was about to give up the ability to simply snatch it and run was.. exasperating.  
"Hey, Harry?" he turned to the guard escorting him inside.  
"Yeah?" Harry replied.  
"I dropped my juice carton outside, mind if I go get it?" asked Jed. Harry tilted his head for a moment and then sighed.  
"Fine, but make it quick," answered Harry. Jed smiled and turned to the yard, walking as slowly as a turtle. As if it was fate, Jed was struck with a heavenly light, also known as good luck. Someone in the cafeteria kicked up a fuss - Harry took his eyes off Jed immediately and ran inside to help the other guards in the commotion.

Jed slyly smirked to himself and made his way to the two guards, still chatting away. They paused immediately when they saw him approaching, and turned quickly.  
"What do you want? Shouldn't you be inside having lunch?" the first guard asked. Jed simply smiled.  
"An inmate just broke out when you weren't even looking, aren't you gonna go catch him?" Jed asked. The guard closer to the edge of the building frowned and stuck his head around the corner to see if the exit was open, or the switch had been broken. As soon as this happened, Jed splayed his arm and smashed the guard's head into the wall, creating a disturbingly loud cracking effect and the guard slid to the ground, lifeless, a trail of blood and brain matter followed his head down the wall. The second guard gasped and instinctively tackled Jed to the ground. In response to this, Jed kicked his knees out, hitting the guard in his stomach. The guard wheezed and rolled off of Jed in pain, grabbing his gun and firing aimlessly. Jed spun out of the way, the bullet scarcely skimming his shoulder. He jumped into the air and landed on the ground next to the guard, his elbow impaling the guard's neck, choking him. The guard struggled, but he knew every move that he made would only make Jed's elbow go deeper. The pain was too much for the guard, and his body went into automatic shutdown, he stopped flailing and even breathing, he simply dropped his limbs and lay there, limp, his throat badly bruised already. Jed stood up, panting a little, but he calmed down quickly. It almost shocked him, he had only been in one fight his whole life, and even then he nearly got his ass kicked, now he had committed two almost-inconceivable murders in the space of three minutes... mad.

* * *

The guards-only key-card, which now 'rightfully' belonged to Jed, met with the scanner plastered to the wall, Jed made his way to the roof of the guards' building. Still, nobody had noticed. He made his way up the ladder and in the next minute or so, he found himself hot-wiring an Apache attack helicopter. A few disconnected and snipped wires here and there, cut the red... twist the blue...

Boom! He had hijacked the helicopter. He sat down comfortably in the driver's seat and took off without hesitation. His first stop, the gun store.

It almost surprised him that a crime-ridden city like this permitted gun stores, but it was understandable that it was on the edge of the landscape, and not in the same district as places such as the bank or the jewelry store. With haste, he landed just outside the building and climbed out, crashing his foot into the doors and knocking them down without any trouble whatsoever. He made his way inside only to witness a cashier screaming his head off, as if he knew exactly what was about to happen.

"SHUT UP!" Jed bellowed, and the woman immediately fell silent, "All I want is your damn guns, and I'll let you live, provided you keep your mouth shut."

The woman nodded quickly and grabbed her three best pieces of weaponry: An AK47 machine gun, with four spare loads of ammo, a Remington 870 shotgun, with plenty of bullets to use, and an M9 handgun, for those stylish movie-esque fight scenes. He smiled to himself once again as he loaded up, and made his way outside to the helicopter, taking off as fast as he could.

The cashier ran into the storage room, picking up the nearest phone and dialed 911, crying and panicking.  
"H-Hello?! Y-Y-Yes! He was just h-here! I-I-.. I don't know, b-but he's taken o-o-o-one of your h-h-helicopters! Y-You should g-go a-after h-him, m-maybe he's h-headed for the b-bank or something!" she shook violently.

* * *

At the old, abandoned criminal base on the edge of town, Jed parked his helicopter on the widest building's roof, and made his way downstairs. He changed out of his weird prison jumpsuit and put on the most comfortable clothes he could find - a blue and green checkered shirt, probably designed to be worn on hot summer days at beaches, and beige tracksuit bottoms, with a pair of Adidas trainers. He tied his laces quickly and then returned to the helicopter, the only train in the city made its way out of the adjacent tunnel at that moment, and Jed had a fantastic idea. A diversion. He grabbed his Remington and aimed for the tracks ahead. He opened fire a couple of times and shattered the steel on the track. The train stopped moving immediately, vibrating as electricity ran through it, as if it knew this was not where it was meant to stop. Jed sighed in relief that his plan at worked, and the train driver called the police. Jed took off in his helicopter, and before a minute of flying was up, he could hear police sirens and fire engines surrounding the train. As he made his way across the landscape, an explosion behind him filled his ears. He grinned, because the electricity discharge had caused the train to overheat, and then it blew up, destroying everything and killing everyone inside, and probably right outside too.  
"Nice one, Jed," he praised himself, enjoying the moments of glory.

* * *

Surprisingly, Jed's next stop was the prison. He couldn't leave without the people who he had wanted to stay friends with for so long, that would have almost been heartless, and so he found himself flying high over the top of the prison. Lights and aimless bullets surrounded him and his vehicle as the day became night, and Jed took a deep breath in. He shut off all of the controls, and turned off the vehicle. He stood at the edge as it began to fall from the sky, and leapt out, his parachute spurting out almost immediately. The helicopter crashed into the edge of the building, hitting a bunch of electrical devices such as switches, lights, alarms, etc. The entire area exploded in a fiery blaze, rubble flying everywhere. As if on cue, a band of inmates burst out of the flames, yelling and cheering like hyenas. Time to set these poor, oppressed soles free.

The guards followed the inmates suite, opening fire in every direction, trying to find them in the flashes of smoke and darkness. Jed aimed his landing for the guards, dropping his parachute when he was low enough so that it fell on the guards, forcing them to trip over, unable to see anymore, the parachute was instantly impaled with dozens of bullets all at once, and Jed ran for his life. He eventually caught up to Arnold and his other friend, who were laughing and cheering louder than anyone else as they ran.  
"Well, ye finally did it, Jed! Ya saved the day!" Arnie chuckled.  
"Eh, their breakfast was shit anyway," Jed smirked.  
"HAHAHA, WE ARE OUTTA HERE!" his second friend roared, and the inmates dispersed around town, stealing cars and other various vehicles, making their great escape.  
"Let's catch the train and ride it outside the city!" Arnold exclaimed, but Jed shook his head, "What? Why?!"  
"Let's just say, I had some fun before I picked you guys up," Jed grinned deviously again. Arnie simply laughed his contagious laugh once more and shook his head.  
"Good old Jed," he responded.  
"Yep, good old Jed," the other mate added.

* * *

Two weeks had passed since the great jailbreak of April Fools, Jed reunited with his parents once again. It wasn't the most pleasant reunion, since his parents were all 'goody-two-shoes' and he was the bad kid in the family, but he convinced them that he had behaved so well that the prison let him out early, and they of course fell for it.  
"I'm so proud of you, sugar cake," his mother repeated for the thousandth time, squeezing Jed's beaming cheeks as she set his delicious dinner down on the table.  
"Thanks mum, I'm proud of me too," laughed Jed. His parents then began to say their typical prayers. Jed would have begun, but something caught his eye in the window. A flash.

A flash? What kind of flash? Lightning? A flashlight? What was it?

As soon as his parents ended their prayers, and began to dig in to the meal, Jed stood up.  
"May I be excused for a moment?" he asked politely.  
"Of course, but don't be too long, your dinner will get cold," his father smiled.  
"Right," Jed nodded, and he made his way outside.

Wind blew straight into his face, along with dust from the ground beneath him, he pulled out his bandana and covered his mouth.  
Squinting, he shouted, "What the hell is going on?"

From above him, aggressive voices cried, "This is the RCF police, please make your way outside with your hands above your head, drop any weapons you may hold on the premises, and slowly drop to your knees!"

"For God's sake," Jed sighed, following the orders. He only had his M9 on him at the moment, he took it out of his pocket and let it fall to the ground, he dropped to his knees with his hands behind his head. Two SWAT cops dashed out of the helicopter and arrested him immediately. They leaned down to lift him up and he growled.

At that moment, Jed saw his opportunity. He spun his knees and feet around, tripping up the officer, and grabbed his gun, firing a couple of bullets. The second SWAT cop didn't have time to take out his shield, and so he took a bullet to the head, collapsing to the ground within a matter of moments. Jed used his cuffed wrists to his advantage, wrapping them around the other cop's neck from behind as he stood up. He pulled back, making the officer fall over, and eventually he stopped breathing. Jed let go of him and turned to the helicopter. At that moment, as if it was fate, Arnold and his other friend ran over to him, holding a sharpened bread knife and a portable sniper gun. Jed smiled as Arnold cut him free of the handcuffs, and he made his way inside the helicopter. He slammed his fist into the driver's head, causing it to knock against the controls. The helicopter shut off and crashed into the ground, exploding upon impact, as Jed flew out head and hands first, landing with a roll on his feet next to his two friends. His mother and father ran to the door at that moment, frowning and gasping in horror at what they saw.

"JED, NO!" his mother screamed, tears in her eyes.

Jed turned to Arnold.  
"Dude, they have trackers implanted in our necks like little chips, that's how they know where we are all the time! We have to get them removed, _NOW_. Eric's got a Toyota parked around the corner, do you have all your stuff?" Arnie asked. Jed simply nodded hastily in reply. Eric (the other mate) ran off and came back with the Toyota a few moments later - even the blazing flames of what was left of the helicopter could not drown out the rumbling snarls of the Toyota. The sun roof opened and Jed climbed in through there, while Eric sat in the driver's seat and Arnold sat next to him.  
He stuck the top half of his body out of the vehicle and screamed, "WOOOOOO!" firing a bullet aimlessly into the sky, then he turned to his mother and finally answered her cry.  
"Sorry mum, sorry dad, but a jail-breaker's gotta do what a jail-breaker's gotta do," he chuckled.  
"Son.. please.." his father frowned.  
"I'll come back, some day, when I feel like I should maybe slightly regret what I've done. I promise," Jed grinned, saluting his parents, and he and his friends drove off into the sunset.

Knowing that he would be back soon was the best part for Jed to acknowledge. This was the most excitement and action he'd had since the prison inmates were forced to watch a movie about the CIA 'kicking ass.'


End file.
